The idea behind niche dating sites is that you join them on the assumption you will meet lots of people with a similar interest: and in the case of adult dating sites, this is sex! But is there more to an adult dating site than just sex?
There are many adult dating sites out there, most of which have a reputation for being full of married players, kinky swingers, and generally dodgy people not looking for anything more romantic than a game of “doctors and nurses”. As such, it is fair to say that if you join an adult dating site, you need to be pretty open-minded and not the kind of person who finds rude pictures and sex chat offensive. It also helps if you are female as the majority of the people on there tend to be men.
Is everyone on an adult dating site looking for no-strings fun?
Not everyone is only after sex. You just need to be a little more discerning as you browse through profiles. There will be lots of people who state they are looking for more than just a threesome with you and their wife; whether or not you choose to believe them is entirely up to you!
If you want more than just a torrid romp, be up front about it in your profile and state clearly that you are ultimately looking for a long-term relationship. Unless you are honest about your intentions, you will soon be sifting through an interesting selection of swingers’ party invitations and X-rated emails. On the other hand, if all you want is the chance to road test the suspension in your sporty new hatchback, be honest about that, too.
Will anybody contact me if I mention the “R” word?
The “less is more” approach is actually very effective on a site where 99% of members put their cards on the table from the word go. Just don’t contradict your words by posting a series of very intimate pictures!
Lots of people post rude pictures on adult dating sites, but if you choose to do that, don’t be surprised if nobody takes you very seriously when you say you want more than sex. Instead, try posting a “tasteful” picture. It does not necessarily need to be suitable for your granny’s photo album, but at least make sure it is “artistic” as opposed to “full frontal”. And for goodness sake, make sure your face is not visible! For all you know, your boss is also a member of the site…
I have loads of messages in my inbox!
It might feel like Christmas has come early, but you need to be a little discriminating at this point. Discard the messages that are nothing but a stream of filth. Also, discard the contacts that attach a rude picture without taking the trouble to add a message. If you want more than sex, try talking to the contacts who actually seem interested in you, not your vital statistics. Engage them in chat and see where it takes you.
Adult Dating sites are no different to any other dating site – the chemistry is not always there when you meet up, but if it is – well at least you know you have one thing in common right from the start!
And if it all goes well, you can always edit that part when friends ask: “how did you two meet?”
Rachelle Le-Monnier is an expert on the dating scene. For many years she has selflessly gone on hundreds of dates: some good, some bad… and some so terrible she needed therapy to recover from the trauma.
However, she is now ready to use her experiences to help you navigate the perilous online dating scene. Hopefully, with her sage advice, you will be able to go forth and enjoy some great dates, and maybe even find true love!